November 17, 2010 – 12:00 pm
I thought I had finished running the gauntlet of traveling to Providenciales, Turks and Caicos, and if I continue to make my living as a writer, I doubt I’ll be staying at a lot of plush hotels. I really wanted to savor my honeymoon in Turks and Caicos, but I should have known an adventure was waiting for Megan and me.
August 31, 2010 – 11:37 am
One of the few pursuits that I love as much as flyfishing for trout on remote rivers and lakes is traveling. I have visited twenty countries, and I tell you that to establish my credibility. Yet, most people think they are expert travelers. We Americans are experts in everything, and thanks to this mentality, I have the privilege of standing in line and watching people pat their pockets and fumble around in their carryons for their boarding passes and Ids.
August 17, 2010 – 10:38 am
When I slide the bolt in the gas station bathroom door, drop my shorts, lower my backside to the porcelain, and let out a sigh of relief only to feel the residual heat of prior fecal activity, I do not feel kinship with my fellow man. I can’t help but imagine a huge butt completely enveloping the toilet, rolling off either side like a great mass of hairy, veiny biscuit dough.
I’d rather swagger with a purse now than have lower back problems in twenty years.
We thrive on the thrill of the hunt, haggling and dickering, campaigning for lower prices and ferreting out unbelievable bargains.
February 18, 2010 – 3:49 pm
When you’ve spent the last forty hours oscillating between Murphy’s law—“Anything that can go wrong will go wrongâ€â€”and a new law called “Austin’s law†that I discovered—“Anything that can go right will go rightâ€â€”you no longer know which one to expect. All you can do is try to enjoy the journey, including its detours.
February 12, 2010 – 12:59 pm
How is it that life can go from so bad to so good in a few hours?
January 25, 2010 – 1:24 pm
Why is it that these things happen to us when we are in the most hurry? I felt sorry for the old man, but I also felt my frustration rising. I would have only been five minutes late, which was a miracle, if he had watched the person in front of him in line and taken off his belt. This was the best worst trip ever.
January 14, 2010 – 3:24 pm
Do appointments at regional passport agencies have “hard†or “soft†start times? Were they more like going to the doctor or getting married? If I was late, would anyone care or notice, or would some sour-faced government agent escort me to the curb and say the equivalent in American English of “bugger off”?
January 6, 2010 – 5:05 pm
Here was the gist: before 2007 I would have been okay. In 2009 I was, to use the postal worker’s parlance, “screwed.” Things started moving really fast from here.