Neither one of my nieces has developed a “filter.†You know, that social apparatus which keeps most of us from saying rude, uncomfortable, or politically incorrect things in polite company. Emery, the older one, will say things like “Mommy, your breath is stinky,†or “Why is that lady so big?†Merrill, the younger one, has […]
I was in the bathroom getting ready for the day. Megan came in. Her face was pale, and her eyes were red. “I didn’t sleep well,†she said. “You look like a corpse,†I said. Judging by the look on her face, she didn’t find my remark funny. I decided to try again. “And you […]
Back in September 2008, I began developing a theory: After Satan took the form of a serpent in the Garden of Eden and blew his cover, he needed a new, less conspicuous animal vessel and decided on cats. Have you ever noticed that both venomous snakes and cats have vertical pupils? I’m just saying. While […]
Sometimes, you can’t muster the energy to grapple with life’s biggest questions: Is there a God? Does God care about human suffering? Do human beings have free will? Should one feel guilty about buying a White Chocolate Mocha from Starbuck? Sometimes, the cacophony of your own problems and challenges drowns out the cries of the […]
At the beginning of fifth grade, my first year at David Lipscomb Middle School, I auditioned for the play, Don’t Rock the Boat, and landed a part playing “Antonio from Bamboola.†Antonio is a pirate who commandeers a cruise ship. I wore all black, a fake mustache, and a red sash for a belt. The […]
My wife Megan has a gift for “nesting,†and she was the one who introduced me to this term, which I take to mean a knack for making a place inviting and comfortable. At the end of July, we moved into a new house, and within a few days, she had found a place in […]
Last night, as we were leaving a Smokies game in Sevierville, my wife looked up at the sky and said, “Is that the moon? It’s so pretty!†“No, honey,†I said. “That’s the Bass Pro Shops sign.†Funny, that’s where I asked Megan’s dad for his blessing before I proposed.
My friend Eric sent me this. I can remember threatening to run away and throwing some things into a duffel bag, but I’m not sure if I wrote a note. Did you ever threaten to run away? Do you remember the reason? Make us all laugh in the Comments section below.
When we were growing up, my two sisters and I weren’t allowed to watch several television shows. Married with Children had bad language and crass humor. The Simpsons was a little too irreverent for my parents’ taste. Friends had all the wrong goodies: promiscuity, children out of wedlock, divorce, profanity, a casual attitude toward pornography, […]
