Don’t make your pony out to be a Clydesdale

indiana jones satchelEarly this afternoon, I saw something that made me happy. Obviously, someone at Delta read my diatribe, “Why men should carry purses,” recognized the good sense of what I was saying, and changed the verbiage on all the corporate signage.

At one of the Delta gate kiosks in the Knoxville airport, I read a signed that described acceptable carry-on items. Each passenger is allowed one personal item and one carry-on 22″x 14″x 9.”

One of the approved items was a “male/female purse.”

Notice that Delta didn’t use the term “man bag” or “satchel” or “European carry-all” or “chic handmade saddlebag briefcase with shoulder strap.” Delta doesn’t do many things well anymore, but they did use the words “male” and “purse” in a sentence. Kudos.

If it rides on your shoulder and it isn’t a parrot, then it’s a purse.

Don’t make your pony out to be a Clydesdale. Own it.

Men should carry purses proudly. Your briefcase makes you look like an IRS agent, and your bulging pockets make you look like a pervert. Stop trying to be Tom Sawyer and carry your gear in a combat-ready purse. I’ve got snacks in my purse right now. Do you have snacks in your pocket? Doubt it. You can’t argue with snacks.

Indiana Jones carries a purse.

Zach Galifianakis carries a purse.

Do you think you’re cooler than Indiana? Do you think you’re funnier than Zach? Men should carry purses. Thank you, Your Honor. I rest my case.

 

 

Comments Closed

6 Comments

  1. Lauren
    Posted June 9, 2011 at 9:46 am | Permalink

    Joel calls it a murse.

  2. Posted June 10, 2011 at 6:25 pm | Permalink

    Lauren, I can accept “murse” because it sounds even less cool than “purse.” My pet peeve is when men try to “dress up” a purse by calling it another name.

  3. Posted June 11, 2011 at 2:48 pm | Permalink

    I’m a big fan of the ambiguous-looking laptop bag. So much judgment is passed based upon if you hold it like a brief case or over your shoulder.

  4. Posted June 12, 2011 at 12:47 pm | Permalink

    Drew, very true. And it’s fun to push it to the next level. If you see somebody scrutinizing you, go over and say, “Hey, do you know where I can get a glass of warm cat’s milk?”

  5. Posted June 14, 2011 at 8:02 pm | Permalink

    I commend both your attitude and your addressing this particular issue. There’s nothing more pathetic than watching a dude hold his lady’s purse for her while she, say, uses the bathroom, only to grasp it awkwardly by the straps in his Manly Grip, as if to say, “Me man, me no understand how hold purse.”

  6. Posted June 15, 2011 at 10:09 am | Permalink

    Erin, agreed. If Mr. Neanderthal really wanted to masquerade as homo sapiens, then he’d wear that purse on his shoulder and smile at everyone.