Their Best Life Now

Some of you may like Joel Osteen. This post isn’t intended for you.

This post is intended for people who would like to “bless” their friends with a free gift, 30 Thoughts for Victorious Living, video streaming, weekly podcasts, and daily devotionals, compliments of Joel Osteen Ministries.

A couple of years ago, I decided that my best friend Hunter was in need of such blessing.

I followed two easy steps:

1) I went to my e-mail and copied his e-mail address.

2) I signed him up for what at that time were called Osteen’s “Daily Word” and “Weekly e-Votional.”

I care about Hunter a lot. The great lengths I went to to ensure that Hunter didn’t miss a single inspiring message from Joel bear testimony to that love and affection. We’ve known each other for about 23 years, and his spiritual vitality is as important to me as my own.

As with most of my selfless gestures, I forgot about signing him up.

One Saturday night when I was home visiting my friends and family in Nashville, I went over to Hunter and Holly’s apartment to hang out. We took their dog Kiev on a walk. Hunter filled me in on a problem he was having. His inbox was filling up with spam from Joel Osteen Ministries. He’d unsubscribed twice from the distribution list, but the inspiring messages kept coming.

You can’t stop a revolution.

Hunter’s next strategem was to use stronger language in his reply e-mails. Maybe that would convince them.

I was at this point in danger of giving myself a hemorrhoid from holding in my laughter. For my health, I finally released my pent-up jubilation.

“What’s so funny?” he asked.

“I signed you up for that!”

He called me a name I won’t repeat.

I am proud to say that Hunter was only the beginning. I’ve signed up most of my friends. More people should find themselves in his dilemma. We are our brothers’ and sisters’ keepers. We must find creative ways to follow through with this responsibility. If we truly care about those closest to us, we should practice utmost diligence in collecting their contact information—multiple e-mail addresses, phone numbers, mailing addresses, and social security numbers.

Remember that we are to love our enemies. I can’t think of a better way to love them than to open up the floodgates of the golden globe above the stage in the Houston Astrodome. If you have trouble finding a valid e-mail for your enemies, check Facebook. 

We need to put Joel Osteen Ministries in contact with as many people as possible, so that Joel can give our loved ones their best life now.

It’s the right thing to do. We owe it to them.

>> Please post your success stories in the comments section of this blog. Let the encouragement flow like new wine!

Comments Closed

5 Comments

  1. Arobo
    Posted April 11, 2009 at 3:03 am | Permalink

    Awesome dude. Oh! snap!! i just gave you mine. LOL.

  2. George
    Posted April 11, 2009 at 12:24 pm | Permalink

    You are a sick man. I don’t know whether to be glad, or fearful, that you’re my friend.

  3. Elizabeth
    Posted April 15, 2009 at 3:13 pm | Permalink

    Love this!

  4. pacellaml
    Posted April 29, 2009 at 10:46 am | Permalink

    this is the best thing that i’ve read in a long, long time.

  5. anonymous
    Posted May 28, 2009 at 6:24 pm | Permalink

    HAHAHA! Genius. Now I know what I’m doing with the rest of my evening.