Have you ever wanted to take on the road those delightful Dutch Ovens made possible by your nightly gastro-intestinal complaints? Have you ever wanted a way to capture the flatulence of your precious children and save those sweet gifts of methane?
Now you can!
Thanks to American ingenuity, the Peekaru provides a solution for both those problems! These easy-to-use Portable Dutch Ovens ensure that your child’s farts stay where they belong—close to your heart.
Click here to see pictures of fun-loving models with other people’s babies wearing FartSacks in the season’s hottest colors. Boy are they having fun! On the go, at the grocery, sightseeing at the pyramids—you’ll be the talk of the town with this fashionable fleece Womb-with-a-View. Peekaru? Peekaboo? Kangaroo? Right-O! Now we can all be marsupials!
“Hey, everyone, look! A head is growing out of my chest! Is it my conjoined twin? Silly, you! No! It’s my baby boy!”
Best of all, they’re environmentally friendly! Every Peekaru saves 25 bottles from going into a landfill. So, with three babies suffocated for every 100 Peekarus sold, the Peekaru is the perfect way to diminish our ecological footprint and control the population! Way to go us!
Don’t be scared off by the $80 price tag! Though the initial buy-in might make you think that the Peekaru is a bad value—even a bad idea—just think of all the money you’ll be saving on diapers! Your child never has to wear a diaper again. Just tuck her in your new SweaterVestMonkeyCage and when that little rascal drops a load on your stomach, you can loosen the drawstring and watch the turds—and your worries!—roll away while watching your savings roll in!
Follow these links to read more exciting testimonials:
O Hell Nawl: “The Peekaru? WTF?”
Gizmodo: “Peekaru is a Baby Snuggie”
Brought to you by the country that gave you Snuggies.